Yeah, we know you’re good at taking care of others but are you just as good at taking care of yourself?!

Self-care has become a popular word that we often hear tossed around. “Practice good self-care!” they say! “What are you doing for self-care?” everyone wants to know.

But what really is self-care?

Self-care is a deliberate act that we take to nourish ourselves, mentally, physically, spiritually, and/or emotionally. It is not something we do because we feel we must do it. Instead, it is something that refuels us and makes us feel whole again. Self-care is the key to a balanced, more fulfilling life. It reduces stress, anxiety, and depression and creates happiness, fulfillment, energy, and purpose.

Parenting is demanding on us physically, mentally, and emotionally. Our children deserve our full attention and our best selves. Self-care helps us do this.

Now, let’s be honest, practicing good self-care is not the easiest thing to do.

Why is that?

Our society does not emphasize self-care.  Today’s society places importance on going, going going! It’s all about production – how much can we get done and how quick. We have become so busy that slowing down is hard work. Self-care is an afterthought that seems like more work than it’s worth.

We view ourselves as selfish for focusing inward and taking care of ourselves. Why should we stop and take care of ourselves when our family needs us?

We don’t think we have enough time. When we have a long list of things to get done, self-care falls by the wayside. “It’s just not that important. I need to get the laundry done.” We say to ourselves.

We don’t think it’s necessary. “I’m fine,” we tell ourselves. “It’s more important for me to do XYZ.” Even though, deep down, we are not fine. We are struggling inside to keep it together and we think if we can just get everything done, life will get better.

Well, I’m here to tell you – You have enough time. You are important enough. You aren’t selfish for taking time out of your day to focus on yourself. Self-care is about honoring ourselves and our interests, feelings, and needs. Self-care is intentional and it takes work. It may sound straightforward, but carving out time for ourselves takes planning and dedication, especially when we are busy and others depend on us.

How do you know when you need self-care?

Here are a few common signs that it’s time to focus on taking care of yourself:

·         You’re often irritated at others.

·         You’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed by life. Everything feels like a problem.

·         You find yourself tired all the time.

·         You’re starting to dread going to work.

·         You dread coming home.

·         You’re feeling sad and/or lonely.

·         You’ve become consumed in worrying about your future and if you’re on the right path.

·         You’re making simple mistakes or misplacing things.

·         Your inner critic is loud.

If this sounds like you, then it’s time to focus inward.

So how do you practice good self-care?

To keep it simple, practicing good self-care means doing something for either your mental, physical, and emotional well-being every single day.

To figure out what self-care activities are best for you, ask yourself:

·         What do I enjoy the most?

·         What makes me feel happy?

·         When do I feel my life is most meaningful?

Here’s a list of things that you can do today:

·         Take more deep breaths.

·         Practice mindfulness (Use apps like ‘HeadSpace” for help)

·         Get outside! Take a walk around the block and notice all of the sights, smells, and sounds.

·         Go to sleep! Our bodies need at least 7 to 8 hours of sleep to re-charge. Give yourself a                        bedtime and stick to it. Your body and mind will thank you for it! Also, try to find times in the            day for cat naps and limit screen time before bed.

·         Follow-up with medical care. Are you avoiding going to the dentist? Do you know you need                to get a procedure done or a check-up? Make a goal to follow-up with your doctor about                      things you’ve been avoiding. You’ll be happy you did.

·         Reach out to a family or friend. Consider talking with a therapist if you’re struggling with                    coping.

·         Take a long shower or bath.

·         Write in a journal.

·         Make a vision board.

·         Listen to uplifting music.

·         Watch an uplifting TV show.

·         Treat yourself to a haircut, manicure, or pedicure. If your budget allows, heck, do all three!

·         Limit junk food and caffeine.

·         Do an activity you used to love in your childhood.

·         Learn something new! Learn a new recipe, read a book/magazine article, listen to a podcast.

·         Plan a fun weekend trip.

·         Laugh as much as you can.

Once you hone in on some of your favorite activities, make a commitment to yourself to do these things as much as possible.

You deserve to be happier and healthier. Your children deserve a better version of yourself. Heck, the world needs us at our best!

Still stuck and need help? If you are struggling with finding balance in parenting and need guidance on taking better care of yourself, reach out to a therapist who can help you start your journey towards a better version of yourself.  After all, finding support when you need it most is what self-care is all about.

Thanks for reading!