The holiday season is right around the corner! While some parents approach the holidays with excitement and cheer, many others dread the stress and upheaval the holiday season can bring. The holidays often bring increased parental responsibility as we focus on creating special moments for our family. Whether it’s coordinating outfits for holiday photos, participating in school events with our children, attending holiday gatherings, buying presents, or decorating the Christmas tree, the holidays can keep us busy! Coupled with the tasks we already have as parents, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and pessimistic about the holiday season.
But, it doesn’t have to be this way. As we look to the holiday season, we can approach it with lightheartedness, joy, and curiosity. Instead of saying, “Ugh, the holiday party is this Friday.”, we can reframe our thinking to “Hm, I wonder what memories we will create this year. Let me bring my camera and see!” I know – easier said than done but here are some tips on how to look to the holiday season with a little more cheer.
1. Expect changes in the routine
With all the new responsibilities and events that the holidays can bring, expect there to be changes in your daily routine. Your child may be filled with so much excitement after coming home from a fun holiday event at school, that it may be hard for them to wind down. Or your family might be staying over and want to spend extra time with the little ones before going to bed. While it’s important to stick to the steps involved in your bedtime routine, try to be flexible and patient when it comes to how much time it takes to get things done. Try to adopt a “go with the flow” mentality as much as possible. Relax and try to focus on the joy around you and the memories being created because at the end of the day, that’s what matters the most.
2. Be in the moment
That brings me to my next point, be in the moment. When we are stressed, our mind tends to race as we think about all the things we need to get done. The more cluttered our mind is, the less productive we are. When you notice this, gently bring your mind back to the present moment. During family events, try to put down your phone as much as possible and focus on spending time with family.
3. Reach out for support
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and burdened by responsibilities during the holiday season. If you’re feeling stressed about the cooking, cleaning, hosting, coordinating, etc., ask for help from those around you. Be clear on exactly what you need and don’t be afraid to ask for an extra hand. You don’t have to do it all by yourself.
4. Adjust your expectations
Oftentimes our high expectations create undue stress. We have a lot of “shoulds” in our mind of how the holidays “should” go, what we “should” be doing,” or how others “should” behave. Social media also puts a lot of pressure on how things “should” look as we are often flooded with pictures of families with matching outfits looking “picture perfect.” Instead, we can focus on “going with the flow” while also being realistic about our expectations of ourselves and others. Hone in on the most important holiday activities and take concrete steps towards accomplishing those tasks. Talk with your family to see what is important to them and work together to make those things happen. Everything else is an added bonus.
5. Practice self-care
With stress comes the opportunity to be gentle with ourselves. Now is the time to nurture and take care of ourselves so that we can be our bests selves with our family. Being around others is great but can also feel really draining. Be sure to fit in some solitary time in order to recharge and rejuvenate. Listen to some uplifting music, read a good book, or take a bubble bath. Try to practice good self-care as often as possible. If you need more tips on self-care, visit my last post: http://drjazminemccoy.com/self-care-motherhood-17-self-care-tips-to-help-make-motherhood-easier/
How a Psychologist Can Help
If you continue to feel stressed around the holidays, a psychologist or mental health professional can help you identify your stressors and create a plan that feels more manageable. Sometimes our stress is rooted in issues much deeper than the surface. For instance, it may be related to stressful childhood experiences or the pain associated with losing a loved one and not being able to spend this special time with them. When this is the case, the holidays can be especially painful. Meeting with a professional who is trained in processing & managing childhood experiences and/or grief can be invaluable. If you are in the Sacramento/Roseville area, don’t hesitate to reach out to me for help.
Cheers to a happy holiday season and as always, thanks for reading!